he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
