The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
We have started to decorate penises.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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