Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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