I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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