My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
