dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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