I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
