I hate your face
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
did you just send me my own nude
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
