I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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