I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
