So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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