The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
