those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
