I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
i out mim tonsoeep
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