1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
