i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
