Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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