4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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