Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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