Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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