this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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