Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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