No stitches, just platelets and will power
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Randomize
