I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Randomize