I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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