So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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