after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
