Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
