thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
