I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
