It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
