How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
