its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
