shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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