I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
