no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
