Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
