even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
