I'm really into asian looking animals
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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