in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
That accounts for only three of the penises
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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