I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Randomize
