I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Randomize
