Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
