Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
