What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
