She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize