so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
