She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
