hotel room ftw
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
i used baking grease as lip gloss
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
