you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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