Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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