I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
