well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
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