dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
