you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
