Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
