Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
