I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
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